Heretism

I gave it alot of thought and came to the conclusion; I don't want her.
It's not becouse I'm mad at her. I don't have any grudges really. I dunno...

She really was a pain in the end... Not to talk about after... And come to think about it, what I miss is probably only the moments we had, not her as a person... I really don't see any future nor any happiness in accepting her once more. What a pitty...

Shespider

And she walks right back into my life. Damn... I've missed her. I still have feelings for her. Though I do not know what to do... I really don't... Part of me is screaming to take her back... Something is stopping me. Well... I'm gonna get to see her soon. I hope I have my answer by then.

Comes From Nowhere

The feeling returns to me just like before
Nothing hurts more

How can I love someone I'm struggling to know
The feeling will grow

A seed of coruption is planted in me
Please set me free

This degrading feeling to which I submit
Is not unwished for, I do admit

Untitled and Incomplete

*verse1*
I know that this river will flow
to the evergreens, to the endless dreams

I know that this river ain't gold
and that the dreams grow old, far from what they used to be

*verse2*
I think I can't handle what's right
But there's no more delight than when I see you smile

I know that I do love you so
That's why I gotta go away from where I want to be

*pre chorus*
I won't be there
Oh and I won't be there

*chorus*
-

*verse3*
-

*pre chorus*
*chorus* x2

*ending*
Ending up on the same old lane
To change myself I'll change my name
Hoping all won't be the same
If I let go I'll feel more than pain

I'd take all back but all is through
I gotta let go of you
I wish I could turn back one step
To show you love, to show you regreat

And if I could show you once more that I love you
Maybe you'd know it once more, but I'd hurt you
I gotta do what's best for you without a care
About you and me, about me alone and it's not fair

It's not fair

*fin*

Unending Light of the Nevercoming Night

The darkness is creeping to the corners of the room
Away from the light that emerged from the empty void
An everglowing light, always in bloom
So beautiful, so humanoid
Fading in bitter gloom
The darkness the light had to avoid

The stories of this ongoing sight
The stories of this unending light
Outshining the dark as if it was day
The nevercoming night shines in a vivid way

Point of Light

Life is like one big darkness
Everything in it is a point of light
to guide you, make you fall less
while wandering through an endless night

My life is dark none the less
where you might not shine that bright
and my love for you may seem hopeless
but you where my only light

Maybe I'm supposed to be a failure
just to be there
with no one to help you
with no one to care

Even though I'm missing nothing
I feel incomplete
No one to hate me
yet no one to be with

Reflections of Depression

It always seems it’s hiding me.
In my dreams it’s fighting me.
Never finding what’s always there.
Driven insane by noises I can’t hear.

Feeling dead and acting fine.
I now hate all that’s mine.
Always finding what’s never there.
You are now my greatest fear.

The thing I fear the most.
Is loosing what I’ve already lost.
Walking tall but feel like a ghost.
It’s all too late, the coin’s been tossed.

Heads or tails, its worth has no mean.
Both stand for the same while I’m in between.
Never ending and always loosing.
Driven to madness by every little thing!

Gather up and release my hate.
I gotta shape up, gotta be great!
Having no confidence in what I do.
That is what I believe made me loose you.

Is this for real? Was it ever?
Can’t stand the way I feel. I will love you forever.
Now I’m lost. I can’t stand anything.
Can’t stand the pain that love has to bring.

The days are countless even though they’re few.
You can’t ever guess how much I love you.
But it’s too late for repentant pleads.
Nothing I do can live up to your needs.

You ask how I feel every day.
My answer now is; “No, I’m not okay”.
But what do you want me to say?
That I’d do anything to get you back?
Believe me I would but it’s too late for that.
Even if it’s not I don’t want to ruin things for you because of things I lack.
Now there’s just an empty hole where your love for me sat.

I hope you’re happy, I really do.
I’ll still love you all the way through.
Maybe not responded but still you sympathise.
Whatever’s left of me is only to despise.

Nothing as it seems

I feel pretty good at the moment. Though I have a minor problem. An addiction if you may. People get addicted to so much. Me, I get addicted easily. Do it once and I get a nack for it. Do it twice and I'm caught. Well. I've done it twice and now I'm cought. Though the good thing with getting easily addicted is that you easily get away from that addiction. That is what I hope happens. That would be for the best.

Of Sorrow

It's the man in black of sorrow, it's the man that no one knows.
It's the man that knows no one and he never show

Look at him walk down the street so sadly
Look at him hurt himself so badly
Bleeding in tears he walks home
Down the road he walks alone

Pathetic wishes he lives on
Let him die, let him die
Kill him, he shalt not live on
Let him die oh make him die

It's the man in black of sorros, it's the man that no one knows.
It's that man who knows no one and he never show

He never shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooows
Let him die, let him die, let him dieeeee

Never knoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooows
So alone he walks on, he walks on

Who's
There

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's
pathetic

Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee

It's the man in black of sorrow, it's the man that no one knows
It's the man who knows no one and he never show

His true life, his true self
His life he once put on the shelf
Who he is is not to know
He is me and that's not for show
No one must know, no one will know

I'm the man in black of sorrow I'm the man that no one knows
I'm the man that knows everyone and I'll always fucking show




Another song I'm working on. Though most of it I wrote several years back in 7th grade.

Freak Of Unnature

Once it was a peaceful tone
Between the nature and its throne
But one day a beast between
Broke the peaceful sound with screams

Tormented by horrific past
The beast returned from there at last
From the unnature where he dwelled for years
Not a day without screams and tears

The beast who once was of human form
Was turned to dark by that place of mourn
The unnature, that unknown land
Made a freak out of a human man


Part of a song I'm working on. This is the prelude.

Anxiety

Why is this?
Why is it you?
Love I though do miss
I don't want it to be you

I didn't feel this way before
That new feeling comes back for more

The anxiety breaks me
That shame I should not have, it bothers me
The fact that you don't feel the same
Enriches every source of shame

I thought I didn't but I was appearantly wrong.